MemorYal Weekend

This weekend is called Memorial Weekend to honor the troops that live and die to serve our country and protect our freedoms. Let's have a moment of silence.

Now, I call it MemorYal Weekend.  Why? You may ask.  Because, I will tell you, this weekend brings up a thrash of memories for me from just a few years back.  It was just 2 years ago, in the May of 2008 when I was taking my first plunge with ol' faithful, Eharmony.com.  Yes, two years this official love affair began, it was three years ago I started answering the questions to get on this site. If anyone ever asks, Yes, I am a procrastinator and I am proud of that fact.  

Now back to two years ago.  I was single, SHOCKING, and instead of spending this party, alcohol filled, random hook-up induced weekend at some crazy beach town, I spent it with my parents and their dogs and mine at their home.  Minus the random hook-ups, this weekend did not disappoint, it was a party and it was most certainly alcohol filled!  I spent the majority of that weekend checking my tMobile Dash so I could eharm-email with this fellow I was interested in.  His name was John.  I remember telling my mother, "Mom, there is something different about this guy. I just have a feeling about him." Eh-hem.  There was something different about him. First and foremost we ended up haveing the most serious relationship I had been in since the days text messages were obsolete.  We had a good run.  Three months later I remember saying, again to my mother, "Mom, I just have a feeling about this." "This" I was referencing was the impending doom of our relationship.  The lesson I learned from this breakup was to always trust my gut.  The lesson I learned from this relationship, is to refrain from emailing someone over a holiday weekend while at home with your parents on the side of their pool with a bourbon in hand at 3 in the afternoon while the guy is in his house not doing anything talking to no one sitting on his couch and drinking a beer at 3 in the afternoon....alone.

Here I am 2 years later and this time the folks are coming to me.  I own my house and they are going to stay with me. I am still on eharmony and I'm sure I will send an email or two.  I do not regret the things I have done nor the things I intend to do. I do however, take heart that this MemorYal weekend will still be filled with my loving family, good laughter and of course...bourbon!

I intend to no longer be on eharmony.com in 2012. Am I saying I will have found my match by then? Not necessarily, but I am saying, sometimes you just have to cut your losses and since that will be 5 years in the making - I just can't see myself in love with this relationship anymore.  I'm sure there will be some sort of dating app for the ipad and I will probably have my sister's hand-me-down by that point, so I will have graduated from the likes of eharmony and move onto whatever next generation of only the lonely.com there will be for me!

Have a wonderful MemorYal Weekend, filled with memories, laughter, some appreciation for our troops, a little bourbon along with a good toast and perhaps some non-essential text messages and emails with someone who makes you smile!

Short, but informative

If you are looking for some answers on what you should know about dating, here's a very interesting and humorous take by a fellow thirty-something singleton: http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=23779082&GT1=32023

And, I just have to pay homage to a dear friend from my high school days who announced his recent wedding and marriage on Facebook.com this week with the following appropriate status update:

"Death of a playa. Birth of a husband."

That is exactly how I found out he had a girlfriend, got engaged and married all in one after thought status update and I found it to be both poetic and hilarious at the same time!

Not writing my eulogy anytime soon, this female playa continues on...

Playon Playas...

Enter Frank

So I got a little discombobulated with eHarmony.com and my last dating experience.  I admit, I felt a little, I don't think jilted is the word, but maybe stung just a bit.  The guy from Georgia and I did not make it and my friends said "that's okay, on to the next one".  Well when you have gone on 150 first dates, 5 second dates and 2 third dates in the last 3 years "on to the next one" seems like throwing a Frisbee thinking it is a boomerang.  It just doesn't work that way.

I admit, I love my life, I love that I can go on so many bad dates and share them all with you.  I was with a friend earlier today who said he wanted to set me up with someone and how he appealed him to me was with, and I quote, "don't worry, he's drinks A LOT".  REALLY?  That's his best quality for me?  Well, I'm not going to lie, it is necessary I'm sure. :)

The "matches" on eharmony as of late have been what I consider slim pickin's of the nearly 75 from the past 2 weeks.  And the few I have been intrigued by, well they closed me before I got a chance to prove I'm more fun in person.  Whatever. But the site has removed the chance to choose a reason why you are closing someone now...I didn't realize how much I depended on that little extra step.  I'd rather see "Other" checked than just nothing. I'm left without closure now with so, so many.  Plus to the "love doctors of eHarmony.com" I live in Houston, Houston proper that is, that is not Sugar Land, Richardson, The Woodlands, Spring, Conroe, Pearland or League City.  I won't make that kind of effort to meet someone who lives 30 minutes to an hour away, I am trying to reduce my carbon footprint!  So stop sending my way. Thank you, avid supporter since 2008.

So to leave you with my latest match.  To Frank, thank you for the laugh.  I don't actually think you meant to make me laugh, but you brought me back to the reality that this is actually my life now, finding this information out before actually meeting!

Meet Frank. 

frank typically spends his leisure time:

playing the baritone/euphonium, spending time with family, reading, watching tv, watching movies, birding, sight seeing, watching Indycar racing or A&M play, fine arts, gardening, walking, a little bit of writing, metal detecting, cruises, nature, SciFi/Fantasy

Happy Friday!  

PS:  If you are in the mood for some birding this weekend, I could know a guy.

Powering Through

This past weekend I went on a jaunt with some girlfriends of mine to Port Aransas, Texas to take part in the annual Beach to Bay Relay Marathon.  There are 6 people on a team and each "leg" ranges from 4 miles to 4.8 miles.  I am not a runner by nature. I am not a runner by heart. I am not a runner by my wildest dreams. I am however always up for a good time, which is what this weekend always entails.  Unfortunately, I accidentally missed my pick up ride after I passed off the baton to my teammate and after run/walking for 4 miles to get to her, I started another trek, I finished the race, with a slow and steady pace.  A near 9 miles was under my feet by the time it was said and done and I got to think about a lot of things during that time.  I did not solve the problems of the world, I did not conquer a fear, but I did realize when the choice is to trace your steps to see where you may have missed something, it is better to just keep walking forward.  

Two weeks ago I went on a third date with the fellow from Georgia. By all signs they pointed towards a good date.  Unfortunately I haven't heard from him again, except for a weak response to an email I sent him a few days after our date. I try to be breezey, but 'tis true, when you try to be breezy, you sound calculated.  Well I took the plunge and like I kept walking on Saturday because there was no other choice, I closed him on eharmony before he closed me.  Then I had a realization this morning, as I keep trying to figure out, what happened and why didn't he just say something?  Well, right before I closed him on the site, I took one last look at his profile and there it was in black and white, he wanted "someone who challenged" him.  When I first read that, being the non-genious that I am, I thought that meant intellectually.  That scared the shit out of me, I'm not that smart.  Tis true, I never broke a 1000 on my SAT and I took it twice, I had to work hard in my degree of American Studies and let's not be afraid to mention I had a tudor when I was 4 to learn the alphabet. FOUR....A TUDOR....and I still sometimes have to sing it in my head when I'm alphabetizing!  But it didn't occur to me until this morning actually that what he was saying is he wanted the chase.  Well here's the skinny Georgia, I'm not on eharmony so that I can play hard to get. Clearly.  So I wish you well in your chasing endeavors.

We had good fun on the ride home reading the profiles of potential suitors on the site I had recently been matched up with.  Out of all of them, the one who has reached out to me is Mr. Self Employed. The second multiple choice question he asked me was how trustworthy am I? and the multiple choice questions are:
A) sometimes I'm too naive
B) I trust people and am able to forgive them when wronged
C) I trust people until they prove me wrong, then it is hard to trust again
D) people are dishonest by nature, you need to be careful 

Kind of an odd question, don't you think? Not odd if he is a liar.  I chose choice C.  But I regret that choice, I think I should have stuck with D. 

I had choices range from Mr. Self Employed to Mr. Star Wars junkie and One guy's profile pic was him wrestling a dog bone from his dog's mouth...with his own mouth.  It just keeps getting better and better....I'll keep powering through this, you stay tuned!
 

Anxiety

I have been covered in anxiety for the last 2 weeks. Seriously, it has kept me so warm at night I wake up in sweat.  For two weeks I have worried over a boy, my job, my co-workers, my co-worker's relationships, my dog, my house, birds in my house, birds chasing my dog, my job, a boy, my chimney pulling away from my house, a boy and my life.


My therapist has a saying "is this productive worry or non-productive worry?"  I have a saying too "if you can control your heart and mind 100% of the day then good for you for not worrying your pretty little head off".  There is a trigger in every girl's mind that makes anxiety become at the forefront of all emotions, thoughts and productivity.  When I don't have anxiety about something I can have anxiety about not being anxious.  Do you question why this funny girl is still single?


I wouldn't say I'm over the top but I would say that God has tried inexplicably to give me more worrisome things in my life to take my mind off the little things that I worry about, but to backfire in his face... It only adds to the anxiety, it doesn't actually replace it.  I have tried to think to myself, focus on this, this should be your bread and butter of your anxiety plate.  That doesn't work, it just makes me hungry.


I have now found a bird in my chimney, then two in my house, then learned that my chimney is actually pulling away from the foundation and therefore my house which will cost me nothing short than my first born and yes, yes I did have an emotional collapse when relaying this information on to the nice accounting lady at my office who just happened to drop off my paycheck.  But not 10 minutes later was I emailing back and forth with a friend, every other email I wrote was either about the birds and chimney or this boy not having called/texted/emailed in a week.  Don't you find this a bit odd?  Well thankfully I have some of the best girlfriends a gal could have and they reassure me that I'm not crazy, I'm just a girl.  So everyone I know who has now found a mate and who's houses have not fallen in on top of them has been anxious and obsessive over thoughts.  This is comforting.


You see, my house, it can be fixed, I have a solution.  The situation with the guy, my only solution is to try to not focus anxiety on the confusion of me just being dropped like a bad banana, but that is to focus my attention elsewhere.  So I'm 752 "matches" into eharmony and found 2, count them, 2 guys I was interested in something more than 1 date.  2 in 752???  They call them Matches...I call them "failures"  Those odds are pretty amazing when you think about it.  I don't even have to explain that, 750 guys that I have been matched up with on this dating site that have either not wanted a relationship with me nor me with them.  That's pretty amazing when you get down to it, that's like turning down an army of bachelors as eligible suitors or non eligible for that.  If the glass is half full, I've got pretty good odds, when I say I have been closing them it actually means I have been turning them down, left and right.
Point being, I have a man climbing my chimney right now and another not calling me and 750 not knowing anything more about be other than my name and what I look for in a relationship.  That's more than I can say for some of my college boyfriends.  Irony.


Happy Friday!

The Sauce

You know, I'm no stranger to "The Sauce".  I don't think I am what would be considered an alcoholic, but I have been known to pull some stupid stunts while under the spell of "The Sauce".  Since college I refer to it as being "over-served". Blame it on the bartender, don't blame it on the A-A-A-Alcohol!  It is never your fault, it is never "The Sauce's" fault, it is the bartender's fault.  Sometimes I would be coy and say that someone stole my wallet and forced me to drink and made me pay for it.  NEVER MY FAULT!

Once when I was 20, I called one guy I had a crush on six times in one night and I believe, in one hour.  I learned about drunk dialing that night and future relationships.  Like Tequila Shots and Good Wine...they do not mix.  So I stopped that silly phase.

Then the bastards invented texting. TEXTING!!!  Now I ask, where is the invasion of someone's personal space and time with a few typed out words?  Oh, it is there.  Somehow in my maturity, however, I gained a "sauce" induced filter.  I will do one of two things if I get the urge after being over-served. I will either send a text and immediately delete the evidence. Of which I never forget that I actually sent it, but I do not have to deal with the humiliation of reading said text the next day and finding misspelled words or worse...questions of "miss me?" or confessions like "looks like I had too much to drink tonight".  Who needs to know this information that isn't currently at your side? NOBODY!  The second thing I can do is actually find a little clarity during writing that text and actually not sending it. Sometimes I'll save it to see if it is worth sending sober. IT NEVER IS! Sometimes I'll just stop, mid-incoherent message and see the light of nonsense and put the phone down.  I don't always have this clarity when not drinking, which is clearly ironic.  Like recently, I did not send a text to Georgia when I was drinking, but I couldn't help myself when I was sober.

"The sauce" has brought me a few things in life.  It has most certainly brought me additional pounds in areas like my chin and liver.  It has brought me "really good, deep and meaningful conversations" with new friendships and of course new crushes.  It has brought me totally unwarranted humiliation.  It has brought me bruises.  It has brought me regret. Why do I drink "the sauce" again?  Oh, because when not drinking into a state of bad ideas (which quite honestly, isn't as frequent as this post may sound...:)), I actually enjoy having a glass of wine or an occasional bourbon with my mother and a cold beer on a hot day is something worth bragging about.  But nevertheless, I have often felt like kicking the bartender who served me those drinks and the person who stole my wallet and forced me to drink with my own money, but I do not, without a doubt in my cloudy head, hold myself responsible for any unsavory behavior.  Blame them!  No apologies!