It's not me, it's you

Dear eharmony.com,

I have decided the time has come for us to part ways.  You have done me well by providing me with endless stories of matches with men who are so unbelievably wrong for me that I have often wondered if your fool proof system is indeed, run by a fool.  You have introduced me to men who are loners, stoners, bible pushers, democrats, republicans, non-religious, non-spiritual, kid loving, kid having, employed, unemployed, chili's lovers, gamers, motorcycle riders, cheap, money hungry, short, tall, fat, balding, overly hairy, funny, dull, intriguing, rude, genuine and in the end, the most common trait amongst them all is they are without a doubt, wrong for me.

So after some quality time thinking about whether or not I should continue this investment in a sinking stock, I've decided to cut my losses, at least for the time being.  See, eharm, it's not me, it's you.  I have found that I love every part of my life, be it alone, with friends, with my dog, with family, with strangers or even on an awkward first (and inevitably last) date.  I'm happy, I'm single, I'm good at my job, I own my own house, I own my own car, I have a healthy sized black lab who adores me, I have a family who supports me, I have friends that laugh with me, I, eharmony.com, am happy. 

I have decided I do not need to you to reinforce time and again that I don't want to be with a loner, a gamer, a nerd, a thirty thousand dollar millionaire, nor even a millionaire.  I don't need to be reminded that "it just wasn't going to work" from these same men.  There is no worth trying with more and more people who aren't right for me.  I have decided that in all this effort, in this time I have spent agonizing over what outfit I should wear on a first date while trying to remember if I wore it on a bad date previously, because yes, I'm convinced clothes have an aura, it just wasn't worth it.  See with clothes, as with men, if it was bad once, well, it will be bad again.  For example, my car got hit one night when I was wearing a new shirt, but I wasn't in the car. The next time I wore the shirt I was driving a friend's car and I got arrested.  Do you think I wasted my time in throwing said shirt away?  No.  Shoes, however, are a different story.  There is no karma with shoes, you know how you feel in shoes, you risk your own fate if you know they hurt and your feet swell up like sausages every time you wear them, that's your own fault, no need to toss them.

I digress, eharmony, it is time we say our goodbyes.  I'm not going without one last try, tomorrow night will be my last eharmony drink date with a fellow who's name is only initials.  I can't wait to see what this has to offer me.  As I sat there alone on my couch last Saturday night watching P.S. I Love You and crying at the mere thought of that movie, I became frighteningly aware of my surroundings; the place where I am in my life is purely my choice. I plan to move forward in my life making choices of who I am matched up with, who I choose to share this life with. So what if I was alone on a Saturday watching the most depressing movie since Old Yellar (which by the way I haven't even seen because of the stories I have heard), I was happy.  This is my life.  Bring on 31 years of age, bring on some stupid mistakes, bring on the travel and bring on the laughter, because this is my life and I choose to live it how I want.

So for that, eharmony.com, It's not me, it is you that has messed up this relationship.  So I say we take some time apart, think about where things went wrong and then maybe, just maybe, we will give it a shot, another day.  But for now, PS.: I don't love you.

-H

PS: Any readers out there, I will continue to update on the shenanigans known as my life...just may not include any inter-web matches! :)