Just friends?

So lately I have had the conundrum of realizing my single friends are really starting to disappear.  In fact when each single friend meets someone who they could potentially get into a relationship with, yes I do say how excited I am for them, but let's be honest here, a little part of me dies inside.  I mean, how can they continue to leave me in this boxing ring alone while they are on their way to getting an actual ring?

Recently I met a fellow who's company I thoroughly enjoyed.  He was unattached, well, he wasn't in a serious relationship and I had my eye on a certain hunky tennis coach at the time.  It was refreshing to have a platonic few nights in Colorado with a fellow who I was certain would be my next new best friend.  You know what happens when you leave vacation?  REALITY!  Seriously, like a slap with a ice cold piece of meat on the face, it is a harsh reality.  Life isn't all tandem bikes and drinks during the day and laughter all night.  Reality is this 8 - 6 job, in bed by 10, drinks only one night a week and daily exercise to burn off the vacation weight gain.  Reality is coming home and having luggage in your room that you have to unpack, it is there to remind you that you have have to do your own laundry.  Reality is walking the dog, feeding the dog, eating lean cuisines, not ordering room service.  Reality is also finding out the new best friend you made while on vacation is actually not your best friend.

How do you ask out a friend? How do you say to someone you laughed wholeheartedly with at the most asinine comments for 3 days that you want to grab a drink with them in a platonic way? Think about it...get on facebook, find someone of the opposite sex that you recently met and enjoyed being their friend and send them this message "Hey, you want to grab a drink sometime?" Wait...that implies date.  "Hey, Friend, good pal, feel like getting wasted?" Wait...that implies needing someone to comfort me in a drunken stupor. "Hey there, haven't seen you in a while, feel like catching up, not that we have anything to catch up on, really, but you know exchanging pleasantries and possibly tossing one back" Wait, that sounds like you are really hurting for a friend and no idea how to have one.  How about "Hey, i know you are seeing someone, so don't take this the wrong way" I'm just going to stop, we can all see where that will lead. 

So how do single girls and single guys make friends with one another in our 30s without the other person thinking they are hitting on them?  I mean, let's be frank, I do realize that men and women can't exactly be the best of friends and there will always be some sort of tension between them, but can there be an attempt?  I have no idea how to move forward on being friends with a straight single man.  The gays, I've got no problem and I love that, I do not discount my gay men friends, they are my heart.  But here I sit agonizing over how to have a guy friend that is single, when we all know if he was interested in me as a friend I would have heard from him by now, so shouldn't I cut my losses?  I'm no fool, I don't look at the obvious, the obvious is a son of a bitch.  I don't cut my losses, I over-analyze and I blog about it.

So here's to reality, here's to the luggage, the lean cuisines, the dog and the 8 - 6.  If it weren't reality, I would have no place to take my mind to on vacation, physically and mentally.  Mental vacation is the best, I've made friends, gotten married, had an affair with Bradley Cooper, moved to an island, had a driver and most importantly, I've known the right thing to say to everyone without sounding like a total bumbling idiot!