I threw the chips away

Being 32 years old has its perks, I can be comfortable staying in on a Saturday night and I can really, without hesitation, look at where I am in my life and be happy. I am in such a good place. I'm blessed with great family and great friends, a few nights in and seldom nights out, I'm healthy, happy and well...recently, bored. So I called up one of my best friends in the world last week and mentioned I needed a girls night out. Not just a let's go to dinner and grab a glass of vino, I mean, I want to get gussied up (I'm from Texas, deal with the word), I wanted to drink too much and I wanted to stay out late. She is a mother of 2 kids under the age of 2, she was ALL for it! We were psyched, we got a babysitter, called up another one of our best friends to join in on the debauchery and she too was game to play.

This past Saturday night we went out on the town! We got all gussied up, I even wore fake eyelashes that until I started drinking made me want to pluck my eyes out. Those things are not comfortable! We went to a great restaurant where I decided to not clean my plates of three courses because as I kept reminding my friends, I was wearing two tank tops and a sequined skirt my mother referred to as "you should charge $50 an hour in that thing". Supporting. My mother tends to only like me in clothes that come from Talbot's...Talbot's doesn't work for "Gussie". Anyway, as the night went on and the drinks began to flow my memory starts to fade. 

We went to a few bars, we danced with strangers and was compared to being a cougar by others. At 32 I am no cougar, but the 22 year old who had offered to buy me a drink...clearly I was. I remember him showing me his ID, I had never seen 1989 on a drivers silence before. It was weird looking.

We jumped in a cab at 2 to go relieve the babysitter and some guy got in the front seat as he was going in our direction. He paid for our cab, we paid for the babysitter. Only after I realized I had lost my keys. If there is one thing I pride myself on is that I have never been that person to lose something when I go out. I am mystified by the loss. What is also a bit unsettling, is throughout the evening we took pictures and got some good memories, albeit a few are hazy. However, I thought we needed a memento as well. So, at bar #2, there were two serving dishes, one with peanuts and one with chips. I proceeded to toss the chips and the peanuts onto the floor, stuff the two bowls into my clutch, yes clutch, and run out of the bar and out to the car. I believe this is probably where said keys were lost in the commotion. Which means, I clearly cannot go retrieve them. I'm a fugitive.

I woke up yesterday feeling like a truck ran me over, I threw up to try to feel better, I didn't. I didn't eat until 5:15 last night. I was once again reminded, I'm not in my 20s. I'm good for at least another 8 months before that comes around again. The person who invented shots should actually be shot. Because it is that person I blame for losing my keys, dressing like a $50/hour lady of the night and for taking my money. But it was all my friends and I who made it hilarious and worth the Sunday morning, day, afternoon and night pain. To the young 22 year olds who bought us our drinks and danced with us on the dance floor,  you too are welcome, for you also have some good stories to share. And to the 3 Aholes who stole our cab while we were trying to get home to the babysitter, I stick to my word, "you really are 3 douche-bags".

I'd fill you in on more, but as I said, it gets a bit hazy.  I enjoyed the night off from reality, bills, work, yoga and responsibility, I enjoyed turning back time 10 years, It's the turning it back to the present that blows...!