Last night I had the best night's sleep I've had in months. Literally, months. Work has been overwhelming, I've been exhausted, and I've been going to hard too fast. I started a detox last monday to shed 10lbs that have ravaged my body in the past 3 years (4 in the last month) and if I don't lose them now, then they will only keep adding. I have been wearing the same clothes to work, just different ensembles, for 2 months now to avoid the clothes that make my stomach feel uncomfortable. I'm 5'5'' and I was weighing 144.3lbs., this isn't obese, but it isn't where I want to be either. I made the decision to knock that down to 135 before the holidays...in other words, before I can afford to pack it back on with cakes, cookies, stuffing, cheese, alcohol, more cheese and perhaps an excessive amount of wine and um, perhaps a celery stalk with peanut butter, you know, for the health. So last night, exhausted from only eating greens, rice and vegetables for 10 days (okay, I've snuck in some coconut dairy free ice cream, but who are we kidding), and having now lost 3.3 lbs, I could barely hold my eyes open.
Last night I went to sleep and I went hard. For the 3rd time in the past 3 months I dreamed about my rehearsal dinner. Is she engaged? You may be asking. No. Is she actually dating someone seriously? You may now wonder. Absolutely not. But I keep having these dreams about the one night where people will have the liberty to stand up in front of my friends and family and my future husband and tell stories about our lives together, mistakes I have made and most importantly, how much we mean to each other and how right for me my future husband is. Is she a complete narcissist? Not completely, but I have thought about that night a lot. Having been a bridesmaid 17 times and given 17 rehearsal dinner speeches, I have wondered, what would they say about me at mine? Now I am dreaming about it. I think it has to do with the fact that I've been a bit distant from my friends lately due to work and now due to the devil in detox. I miss my friends, so I'm channeling what they are saying about me in my dreams.
And here is the gist of it. One of my friend's husbands got on the phone with his friend and I overheard him saying "this is really boring". I proceeded to ask him to leave my rehearsal dinner. I'm ballsy in my dreams. Another one of my friend's husbands stood up to give a speech, a husband I don't know well, but who I do find hilarious, and he wrote a song for me and started to sing, errr, rap it. Why my friend's husbands made the dream, or rather, made speeches, I'll never know, but I appreciated it. Just as two of my best friends in the world stood up to walk to the mic to say what they needed to say, the anticipation was building up in me, and I couldn't wait to let the tears fall...beepbeepbeepbeepbeep....the alarm goes off. I tried everything I could to go back to that beautiful outdoor setting and listen to what they had to say, but I couldn't. I had to get up and go to yoga.
I live 5 minutes from my yoga studio, 2 minute drive or 5 minute bike ride. At 5:30 in the morning, I drive. Of the 3 lights between my house and yoga, I caught them each on red. I showed up at 5:31 and the door was locked. I think my unconscious is telling me something. Pay closer attention to those I love, get my ass out of bed when the alarm goes off, and I really need to get my friend's husband a rap recording contract, he has a future.
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