Memories

Today, a friend called to tell me she was on her way to Houston. Then the following conversation ensued after mentioning a friend of ours is most recently in a new relationship:

Friend: Oh my gosh, you know who I was thinking about the other day?

Me: Who?

Friend: Do you remember that guy you dated who stole like forty bucks from you and a bunch of liquor?

Me: Umm, it was 4 months ago, about how much do you think I actually date that I would have already forgotten him?

Friend: Man, that was so crazy.

Me: Sure was.

Seriously? The wonderful disenchanting dating life I lead. I did decide, ironically enough, in the shower this morning, that I will not apologize nor make excuses for the choices I make as a single woman. I'm 31 years old, I will continue to have adventures and of course make some mistakes. Who didn't make mistakes until they found the one they want to be with? To the men that stole my heart and my money, I thank you. You give the friends of mine who's men in their lives give them comfort, shelter and love, just a little added humor to my humility and I'm grateful for it and I think, they are too!

Happy Friday friends!

Who is he?

I apologize for my lack in posts lately, quite honestly, there just hasn't been much going on. Hence the reason for this post. I was just rummaging around on Facebook and saw a friend of mine posted a picture of me with her dog recently. When she took the picture I asked her not to "tag" me because I thought the picture was none too flattering. The dog I am holding is a precious puppy, asleep in my arms. I noticed that it was "liked" by some guy I have never met nor heard of. Of course this peeked my interest, who is this mystery man that "liked" a photo of me? Is he liking the picture of me or of the dog? Since I noticed he "liked" some other pictures with the puppy included, I'm quite certain he was "liking" the picture of the dog. However, this has got me thinking. I had already decided I didn't want to ask my friend who he was, I didn't want to face what I consider humility when as a single girl I ask about someone of the opposite sex. 

Sometimes, a friend will be telling a story that will include a guy's name that I haven't heard of and I might ask "who is he?". I will get one of two responses, "Oh, that's so and so that I know from..." that's it, no explanation, just his relation to the person telling the story. Or I majority of the time, I will get some version of this "Oh, that's so and so. He's not single. And you wouldn't like him anyway, he was a player." Did I ask if he was single? No. Was I implying it? Sure. Now did I ask what his relationship status was? Did I say out loud, "Who is that? I think I would like to learn more about what he is like in relationships before you finish your story?". No. I actually feel a tinge of anxiety when I see a guy I would like to ask about, because though, yes, I am single and I may be fishing, I would like to get to the point to ask that question before being told the answer. You know?

For example, recently I was at the dog park and ended up having a 30 minute conversation with a guy whom I had never met, but it turned out we have many mutual friends in common. It was a very nice and pleasant conversation. Did I think it would be nice to run into him again? Sure. Did I picture what a date with him, who told me he had quit drinking two years ago, would be like? Well, yes. But when I called our mutual friend to say we met, did I ask what his relationship status was? Nope. Do I now know that he dated a girl for about a year or longer but they may have recently broken up? Yepper. Did I ever run into him at the park again? Absolutely not. Was the information that was given to me necessary? Not in the slightest.

I realize the reason these things get so much under my skin is that I think people look at me as desperate for attention, a relationship, a set up. I am none of these things. I am simply curious. Sure, I'm single and looking. Clearly, if I see or meet an attractive guy I wonder about his life. This is typical for most people, single or not, you think about the other person's story. What is it? Where did they come from? What are their tricks? ha! This isn't desperate, it is curiosity. I wouldn't want anyone to set me up more than they do, because without a doubt, the story would end up on here and we all know, those don't turn out pretty.

Wishing you a Happy St. Patrick's day, may the luck of the Irish bring you all luck in the search if you are looking or in the boudoir if you found it! 

I am Sally...

I've been going through an interesting period of my life lately. I've been sick for the better part of 8 weeks and I've been bitch for the better part of 6, needless to say, I've been a bit testy.  So this weekend I decided to take it all into consideration, figure out my strategy for healing not only my immune system, but my soul too.  Before I started that little journey, I sat down to eat a lovely breakfast I made, after I cleaned up the mess my broken garbage disposal had made all over my kitchen...The licks just keep on coming! When I finally sat down to eat my cold eggs and cold turkey bacon, I turned on the television and found When Harry Met Sally just starting.  I've never really liked this movie, much because when it was released my relation to the 80s had to do with care-bears and my little ponies, not fake orgasms at a diner or defining male/female relationships.  But this time, I gave it a go. And low and behold, holy shit...I AM SALLY!  
(Let's be real, I am also her friend in the movie who will not actually accept reality and will play in the land of make-believe until she gets married.)

But I finally related to Sally. Of course as I am writing this, it is now occurring to me that I'm not actually Sally. I don't have a divorced male friend who I can tell all my secrets to and consider him a "bestie", but I can relate to being single, and not knowing still what I want out of life. I was talking to the closest thing I have to a "Harry" character the other night and found myself saying that I wasn't sure if I wanted the marriage and kids because I have so much freedom being single.  Unfortunately, I don't really take all that much advantage of the freedom. That's another point in my relation to Sally. She was in a relationship that neither wanted to get married nor wanted kids, because they had the freedom to fly off to Rome on a moment's notice or make love on the kitchen floor.  But they never did those things. And neither have I. I flew to Rome last year because my job sent me and the only reason I have been on my kitchen floor lately is to clean up the mess from my garbage disposal. I guess in the mean time before I, if ever, get the marriage and the kids, I should do what I can about spontaneity. I have no intention of doing anything on any floors, but making a trip out of the blue, well, yes, I do see this as a near possibility. Rome..who knows! Georgia? maybe! I'm going to take this Sally on a vacation and do something out of the blue until I meet my Harry. I hope you do the same!

2011...weird

So it is January 28th and this year is already chalked up to weird.  Let's start on the health side. I've had 6 ear infections in 5 weeks, okay 4 of them were in 2011 and 2 in 2010, but emphasis for dramatics needed.  I have had the flu, tubes put in my ears, antibiotic overload, yoga underload, and an overall pissed off attitude directed completely at my body, bones to skin, fingers to toes.  I received a new washing machine for Christmas and in 2011 had to replace it already.  I got a new cell phone, only to put a request in for a new one 6 days later because the one they sent me was well, a lemon.  I have had the electricity on the back half of my house removed, only to get the electricity company who was to fix it to not call me back. I use a flashlight to go to the bathroom downstairs and an extension cord to do laundry from the utility room to the kitchen.  My car has died on me and I had to buy a new battery. The 25 year old secret rendezvous'er I was having a very flirty relationship with and an occasional secret rendezvous has started to disappear via text, which makes it awkward when I see him daily 25 feet from where I work. 

Now, on to the other weird...My past has made an appearance in 2011. I can now wear shoes I couldn't wear comfortably 6 years ago with ease.  An old colleague of mine reappeared right after the first of the year and we met for drinks. I had neither seen nor heard from him in 5 years.  Reference the Unconditional Journey blog post.  After a wedding two weeks ago, as I was leaving the "after the reception" party at a hotel at 2 AM, I looked up and saw a fling I had when I went to Brazil who at the time lived in Dubai, had since moved to Malaysia and was originally from Scotland, standing in the middle of the lobby at a hotel in Houston. We hadn't spoken since Brazil, two and a half years ago.  Last Monday my phone in my office rang and on the other end was a guy I met on spring break in 1999 in Destin, Florida from Macon, Georgia and at the time I was living in Austin, Texas.  He found me 2 years later in 2001, we lost touch somewhere around 2003.  He found me again nearly 8 years later.  This past monday I signed on to Facebook having no idea I was logged on to "facebook chat", and the Italian stallion himself, Alessandro, popped up and invited me to come to Italy to visit him again to "finish what we started". Oh god!  If that's not strange enough, I woke up this morning to find an email from a man I haven't spoken to in nearly 6 years, who happened to be first guy I ever loved and my most significant relationship.  WHAT???  Is my past haunting me for a reason? Do I keep getting all of these illnesses because I have unfinished business from 1999, 2002, 2008 and 2010?  Who will pop up next?  I'm getting haunted by my overzealous past and amazed at this odd turn of events, well, backwards turn of events.

My 2011 so far, literally, will not let me move forward because I cannot seem to get well and it won't let me move on because my past is shamelessly reappearing.  I have been watching a lot of Sex and the City reruns lately and am wondering if this is why it is all happening. Are the stars aligning with the fact that I can now relate more than ever to their "30-something" references and I now have to repent for the stupidity of my 20s? No...I shall not regret what kept me free spirited, I will only use those experiences, not mistakes, to make for juicier ones in my 30s.  

Like I always say, I do not regret the things I have done, but those I have yet to do.  

However, with that said, to my past, if you choose to rear your head in 2011, do it with good stories to share with friends and strangers. Don't make me bury you with the denim vest and orange patent leather platforms of my wardrobe mistakes past. It is dark and cold in that vault and only a few are aloud to walk the streets with those memories. Sincerely, Me in 2011.

Unconditional Journey

Happy new year!!  I have started this new year off with quite a bang!  2 ear infections, sinusitis, a blown fuse box and 1 meltdown. But through it all I've kept a relatively positive and upbeat attitude about everything, despite the urge to scream once or twice.  So with that said, I've been at a loss for a blog update, I have had no great stories to retell of bad dates or embarrassing nights out. To each of you readers, I apologize in my boring behavior and promise I will do my best to take it up a notch soon. 

In the mean time, last night I had dinner with an old friend whom I haven't seen in nearly 5 years.  We caught up on life as it is now, mutual friends, the old workplace and the such.  He told me about what I can only describe as an amazing relationship with his wife. He's in love with her and it was so refreshing to hear a man talk that way about his wife. He used the phrase when discussing their life together as an "unconditional journey". He said he didn't come into this marriage with conditions or clauses, it was an unconditional journey they are taking together. I thought, what an amazing way to look at life.  So I am going to apply that to my own life. Now I may not have a relationship in the biblical sense right now to have an unconditional journey with, however, I do with my family, my friends and myself.  So I make no more apologies to my friends and family for the stupid things I say, the moronic acts I make and the self loathing scenarios I find myself more often than not. Why do I not apologize? Because we came into this relationship without clauses or conditions, we too are on an unconditional journey together.  My friends and family's journeys may include families, spouses, children, mortgages and responsible behavior, but they didn't ask that of me when they invited me into their lives.  I will unconditionally love them and their screaming children and their nagging spouses and their loving, yet usually unsolicited advise. In the mean time I will continue to muck up the dating scene with these men written for books which should be called "Unsuspecting poorly written men for the suspecting poorly esteemed woman".  I will not apologize for the behavior that ensues when I drink too much wine when I divulge these stories, and I will expect you (unless you are in fact expecting) to drink just as much alongside me. 

For this journey, friends, family and strangers, are on with me, I unconditionally invite you to explore the next chapter with me. 2011, may it bring laughter, tears, drama and a look into the single life reality and may you have the seat right next to me on the roller coaster through it. Cheers!