So I haven't written in a while because I've felt a bit uninspired. Who would've thunk that giving up the crutch eharmony was in my life would make me question if my life actually was funny?? I have been looking for funny things to happen, though they have, I haven't been quite sure how to reiterate them in the blog. Really, I've just hit bloggers' block. Until earlier last week... basically it awakened this uninspired soul.
See I have been a bit overwhelmed at work lately and by overwhelmed I mean overworked and by overworked I mean on most nights, overserved. So I had a meeting with my boss. He called me in to discuss the upcoming fiscal year. Unfortunately, I asked the wrong questions.
I received, as a response, "This is really starting to piss me off". Let me tell you what...I am 1st and foremost a woman, secondly a human and lastly behind sister, daughter, friend, dog walker, dancer and drunk...an executive. As a woman, a human, a sister, daughter, friend, dog walker and drunk, I wanted to burst into tears. As an executive, I dug my nails into my hands and fought back the floodgates. I realized that up until this point, I was exhausted. I did everything I possibly could to change the direction of the conversation, to move past this awkward cracking voice I had and noticeably large red splotches on my neck and cheeks so that I could divert his attention from this awkward moment. But he wouldn't let the conversation stray and when he barked out "What's wrong? Are you going to cry?" Well basically, he did it to himself. I started sobbing like a 6 year old who wanted a pony, I couldn't utter a sentence because of the hyperventilating that was keeping the tears company. It was all in all, not my finest moment.
So after some soul searching, margaritas, laughter with friends, and some yoga I have come to a new realization: I am only human, I have an abnormal amount of hormones when I'm exhausted, overworked, underpaid, overwhelmed and on most nights, overserved, and I can be highly emotional. Take that world...I have feelings, I will cry, I will not ask for help when I could use it, I will complain about things I commit myself too only to agonize over the guilt of not doing it instead, I will laugh at inappropriate moments, I will depend on my friends to get me drunk and listen to me rant, I will explain myself to anyone but the person who upset me and I will eventually get over it.
