Go ahead and name your horse

I have had quite a week here in Santiago. Thursday night I was invited to join some colleagues for happy hour. I was chatting with two of my them about my move here and mentioned I would be moving my two dogs with me in a few months. Unfortunately during the conversation that followed I was informed that I have inadvertently named both of my dogs in Chilean slang, penis and vagina. When I said my dog's name, Tula, I was informed that means penis or a slang version thereof. When I told them the other one's name, Concho they literally fell out of their chairs from laughing. Now the technical word is concha because a vagina is feminine, however, I still have to come up with new names when I am out in public with them. I stick out enough as it is with my big blonde hair and my crappy spanish, now if I start yelling out "Tula, Concho" at the dog park it will probably land me in jail. Imagine being at your dog park and seeing someone yell after their dogs "Penis, Va-jay-jay"! That's what it would sound like, only in Spanish.


On Saturday I went horseback riding with a group of people through the Andes Mountains and was told I could name my horse whatever I wanted. After suffering the trauma of my naming capabilities, I stuck with the name "I don't know" and her colt "I don't knowita". 


I thought stepping out of my comfort zone this week would be getting on a horse for the first time in 10 years, I was mistaken. 

Home?

I am doing everything I can to make it feel like home here in Santiago. I've bought bedding for my new uncomfortable bed in my fully furnished apartment, I've gone to Bikram Yoga and sweated my way into serenity and like any good Episcopalian, I've found my favorite wine shop. Yesterday I finally got connected to the outside world at home by installing WiFi and cable. Now I can fill you in on my daily activities, but unfortunately none so far involve hot single latin men whispering sweet untranslatable nothings into my ears. There are a few reasons for that. One being that I haven't met any and another being that my ears by the end of each day are exhausted. Yep, my ears. I can actually feel them breath a sigh of relief when I get home from work when they no longer strain to understand not just Spanish, but Chilean Spanish, known here as Chileanisms...they have plenty of their isms. 


In the south, we have a phrase when someone looks exhausted, beat up and ready to give up which is "You look rode hard and put up wet". The first time I heard this phrase, it was unfortunately directed at me, but it took me a few minutes of explanation to understand what it meant. For those of you blissfully unaware like I was 10 years ago, it is a metaphor to a horse who has been ridden all day and put back in the barn sweaty and exhausted and not hosed down. Imagine hearing phrases with similarity for all different metaphors for 12 hours a day. I try so hard to be a part of the conversations by nodding my head in aggreance or hiding my the look of WTF on my face, but let's be clear here, this is what goes on in my head when I am to be a listening to a meeting done completely in Spanish:


"What the f is he saying. Oh, he just said we need. What do we need? Man, he is talking so fast. Will I ever get this? My hearing blows. Oh, he just said for him to have something. What is that guy supposed to have? Oh wait, he's looking at me for a response. Nod, just nod. Okay, he must be done, he said claro, which loosely translates to of course, or right. Oh shit, now I have to respond." And aloud I say to the group "Mmm, hmm. Yes. Well, I actually didn't catch any of that except that we need something that he has". Disappointing looks and discussions of what I can assume of annoyance proceed to follow in Spanish. 


I work a lot here, the work hours here put the states to shame. Show up at 8:30, leave by 8 only because the building needs to lock up. I had 3 blissful weeks without a work computer, blackberry or internet and that has taken a drastic change in the last 2 days...so much for don't bring your work home. But I have no complaints, this is why I moved here. However, I am going to make a strong effort to get myself out more on the weekends. I have met some wonderful people and a super fun/sweet friends who are also a couple have taken me in, under their wing since I moved here. But it has come to my conclusion that if I am going to get out to bars and meet strangers, then I have to buck up and get it done. I can't only rely on friends and ask them to take precious time away from their loved ones to drink in a seedy bar with me. Shoot, it doesn't even have to be seedy, but just the idea of having to approach people is about as daunting as interpreting a conversation done completely in Spanish. It wont be easy, but it is my challenge. I'm grateful I have friends here, they are super fun and so similar to the wonderful people I left back home, they help make me feel okay about being here and as strange as it may sound, it feels safe. I'm lucky, but I also realize that I find myself waiting for things to happen and depending on others to make them happen instead of making things happen myself.


I am 3 weeks in to this crazy adventure, but I'm about waist high in pressure to make it all happen for me. It is my goal to take it one day at a time, I will continue to fill you in on this journey... be patient, the stories of being single in Santiago are sure to be good!