Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I've run the gamut

I haven't posted in a while, because I didn't think I had too much to report. Turns out, in fact, I do have some news to share...

Apparently, I have run the gamut of the dating scene in Houston. A month ago I had a conference for work. After the first night I went with some clients to have a drink. I was ever so confused when one of the clients who's wedding ring was actually larger than normal, invited himself back to my house for a nightcap. I was so confused on his "invitation" that I thought I clearly must have mistaken it for that of a bored and drunk engineer just wanting to continue to party. I politely and nervously declined. I wasn't sure if I was being hit on or not (I'm not exactly hit on frequently). I made up some excuse about having tomatoes stuck in my sink and I couldn't let people to my house for the first time with a dirty sink. If you knew me, you would know that A., that's true, I have been known to have a dirty sink. But B., If I was actually interested, I would have made it work. The following day at the conference he walked up and made a comment about it again and said "you just didn't want me to come over because I am married. That shouldn't matter" I thought, is this guy for real? I was so confused, so flustered, a little pissed and sadly, flattered. I admire my friends, sisters and parent's marriages too much to entertain that idea. I am not that girl. I am many things, but I'm not someone who can fling around with someone married. Steal from me? Sure. Lie about your age? I'll entertain it. Have kids? I can consider it. Have a wife? Absolutely not. I can take many things, but just to be clear, he lives in the suburbs. I told you something about the suburbs wasn't a right fit for me.

So on to the next one. I accidentally replied all to an email I received from a contact recently. The email he sent to me was to over 100 people. Whoops. But it actually gets worse. Next thing I know, I get a text message from a number I didn't recognize saying I had just sent him an email and wishing me well.  Come to find out it was the chap I went out with three months ago who, while we were about to plan our fourth date, informed me he was seeing someone else. Note to self, double check the To: line before hitting send on an email.

And then finally, I went to a bar recently to meet up with a group of friends. For the first time EVER, I was the first person to show up. I get flustered when I'm looking for people. I walked up to the bar to ask about the private party when the girl with braces in front of me said "hey baby, what do you want to drink?". Side note: One of my pet peeves is being called baby by strangers. Being from Texas you don't know if it is a come-on or condescending or just plain obnoxious. I politely declined but she was ordering hers and I thought since the bartender was there she was offering for me to tell him what I wanted. The girl went to pay for my drink, I asked her not to, I started to feel really awkward, she then said "if you are a good person, you will buy me one later". Great, now I have gotten unsolicited guilt from a lesbian pick up line. Then she asked me where I was from, damn near asked me for my exact address. When two of my friends walked up, Thank God, in just the nick of time and I waived to them to show them where I was, she said "you don't waive to them. you wait for them to come to you." Strange girl with braces is now telling me how to respond to people. She then said to them "She and I are having a conversation right now and getting to know each other. She can talk to you in a minute." Oh for Christ's sake. Now I have to endure this drunk lesbian's conversation even longer? Eventually, I walked away. I'm flattered she drunkenly picked me out of the crowd and good on her to be out and proud. But at the end of the day, hell, start of the day, middle of the day, and middle of the night, I am a woman, who likes men, single, unattached, UN-baggaged and available, men.

So I realized, I must have run the gamut in Houston. In the span of 2 weeks (with a good month hiatus from dating) I got hit on by a married man, accidentally emailed an old fling and was harassed by a lesbian. What are the odds? I'm not sure if Houston is where my mate is anymore...territory may just need to expand, but I am sticking to the no suburbs still. :)