I packed my backpack full of water and peanuts and a sandwich and fruit and I packed my mind with determination. This hike was steep. I mean really steep, I was pretty sure that I was walking at a 30 degree angle and it was tough. I can't talk while going up because the air was thinning, my heart was racing and my lungs were trying to keep up. So I had to tell myself more than once, "mind over matter" over and over again actually. We got to a point on the mountain where a few people decided to stop, they had reached their summit. One of the guides asked me "do you want to stop or do you want to keep going?" I responded with heavy breath and said, "I'm not sure yet, give me a minute to catch my breath". He said, "Well, how's your pride?". I looked out over Santiago and replied "My pride is doing good, but I'll give it some more". And up I went. At a few points I had to actually climb, to use my arm strength, my leg strength and by God, my mental strength. I realized it I could make it further, but I was slowing the guide down and I'd rather pace myself and stop here. I was proud of what I had accomplished. I had made it above the smog line and if you live in Santiago or have ever been here, to get to that clean of air, above the smog, it is an accomplishment.
It took a few days for me to realize all that I had actually gotten out of that hike, other than some nice pictures and a seriously sore body. I realized the same thing can apply to my life here in Santiago. I can turn around and go back to where I came from any time I want. I can accomplish many things here and I can fail, but when I am ready to go back, on my own terms, then I need to be proud of what I have done. There is always a chance for failure and to even fall on my ass on the way up or the way down (which, yes, I did do on the hike), but I can pick myself up, dust myself off and keep going, whichever direction I want. I feel empowered about the fact that I have made this journey so far and I know I can walk with my head held high. So, I learned while hiking, as in with life, it is my life to make my decisions. Nobody said this journey would be easy and everyone told me that even considering it was worth something. Now I've come and I've made it 5000 miles, a few tears, some good laughs, 2 mountains, and so many new experiences…Onward and upward!
