I ask for opinions, I seek opinions even without asking for opinions, I want people to know my story and give me their opinion, but there is a catch. I only want your opinion if it is in my favor. If I tell you a story regarding my latest tryste or rendezvous with a certain hunky tennis coach, I want you to be jealous. If I tell you the story about our second date and then his sudden call back to where he lives, I need you to reassure me his excuse is legit, in fact, I want you to research it and prove it to me. However, if your opinion on said situation is of utter disappointment, if it is the truth that speaks "he's just not that into you" "maybe you shouldn't have been so available" "you probably should have said something like this..." then I don't want to hear it, in fact, I didn't ask for it, if you look back on our conversation, I only made statements, no question mark was used. I simply told you a story and that was it. Tricky.
You see, this is how I handle all my stories. If I'm trying to make you laugh I expect you to choke a little on your wine from laughter. If I'm telling you a story about a bad day at work, I expect you to be on my side and empathize with me. If I tell you the hundredth story about a guy not being interested in me, I fully expect a "he's totally into you, he's just a player, a jerk and obsessed with his career".
Okay, there is another catch. I do want to hear the truth, because the faster I hear it, the quicker I can accept it, but the truth must be told with delicacy. If you choose to think the dress I am wearing is better suited for a 19 year old or perhaps even someone 25 lbs lighter, I don't want to hear "you are too old for that dress" or "well how's weight watchers going?". I want to hear "you look so young in that dress, it almost doesn't reflect the respectable woman you are" or "I think that dress is made funny, it doesn't look right, in fact, it looked off on the hanger". As a recent example I purchased a beautiful dress for a wedding because the weight watchers effect didn't work for the original intended attire. After looking at pictures and finding that my size D's were busting out the top and my yet to be highly defined triceps flapping during my wedding dance, I was somewhat embarrassed. I mean it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't amazing either. When I pointed it out to a friend after the fact I said to her "dear God, i really shouldn't have worn that dress, i looked ridiculous" and she responded with "no, i thought the dress was beautiful". Beautifully put, beautiful dress, woman inside the dress another sweaty story! :)
Friends, strangers, near and far, these are my thoughts, but I'm fairly certain there are quite a few women out there who feel the exact same way. The long of the short of it is, my therapist tells me to stop telling everyone my stories but what she doesn't understand is that I am making an army of supporters by telling them. Without an army of support better known as my friends, new or old, how in the hell could a girl get through a "something came up" scenario or worse a saddle-bagged ass squeezed through a silk sleeveless dress in the junior section?
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