Tis the question of today. Recently I found myself playing the field, more than I have ever played it actually. On date number two with the boy from Georgia as we were leaving I looked up only to see the Cheap Auditor Missionary (CAM) guy walking in. I held my head down so he wouldn't see me. Not because I was embarrassed by who I was with, quite the contrary, but I was concerned about the feelings of this guy I had bought coffee for once (let me remind you, that purchase wasn't intentional). I contemplated closing CAM on eharmony. I hadn't heard from him in a few weeks. Our last phone conversation was 30 minutes of painful. His appreciation for deafening silence on the other end of the line is actually painful for me to witness. But I chose not to close, like I said before, he was my project. I wanted to be the one who brought him out of his turtle like shell.
Anyway, I went on a drink date with someone new last week, hence playing the field. Trying to keep my options open while not putting all my eggs in Georgia's basket. I surprised myself by having a great time! This guy was funny and I was 100% myself on this drink date, I think because I wasn't really into the idea of going in the first place. We talked about bad dates we had been on which I started out with "Oh, I can only think of 1, really" and then an hour and 6 bad date stories later, I realized, I was verbalizing the blog. I was interested by this guy, I thought we had a great time, I was ready to tell the world, "It's my turn to choose".
and The world said back to me this morning "Bullshit". He closed me on eharmony. So I have to wonder why? Was it the story about the date with the 41 year old that turned him off? The fact that when we discussed kids and we were both in the same boat called "if I meet someone I want to have kids with, then I will. Until then, I'm not yearning for one". That would be a ridiculous boat name, by the way. But when I topped off this conversation with "my biological clock isn't ticking, in fact, it's kinda drunk". He laughed, but who wants to actually date someone who's biological clock is emotionally drunk? The fact that he closed me doesn't bother me, it wasn't there for him, however, what does bother me is the next person he goes out with he will refer to our date as the "girl who's clock is drunk". That's not how I intend to be remembered or make an impression.
So in retaliation of this guy closing me (eharmony by the way has removed the "select which reason" section from closings, so I feel i have no actual "closure" with him) I went ahead and closed the Project too. I feel a little empty inside that I couldn't give him a reason, but I'm freeing him to be someone else's project, someone else can buy him coffee.
Happy Thursday!
what a jerkoff
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